Petite Abeille - Monks Make the Beers, Patrick Makes the Logos

Petite Abeille
http://www.petiteabeille.com/
134 West Broadway
New York, NY 10013-3328

THE CONQUEST
Meet my friend Patrick. Originally from Ohio, he is a great dude who now lives in Brooklyn. He is into food, biking Belgian beers and my cousin-in-law Jen. In fact they're engaged and that makes Patrick about to not just be "my friend." By day, Patrick is a graphic designer who owns his own company, Patrick M. Design. Does the name ring a bell? Patrick is the guy who designed this;

Yup, he is the man behind the Official Burger Conquest logo. Pat also did the logo for my day job, Yeah! Management;

When he offered to help me with my logo needs, I offered to take him out for a burger and beers as a thank you. Patrick is a really talented artist and practically nailed both designs from the first attempt. I was really blown away by his work. When my wife Cara got the call from Jen that Patrick had popped "the question" to Jen, I knew it was time to return the favor.

Patrick and Jen suggested we hit the financial district location of Petite Abeille. It's pronounced "puh-teet a-bay" and it's Belgian for "Little Bee," a popular 1970s children's book. It's a cute little bistro that has a nice homey feel to it. The entire menu is based on popular and traditional Belgian dishes including more than 50 different Belgian beers. If you love Belgian food or are a displaced Belgian living in NYC, this place is the real deal. The menu includes mussels, waffles, frites, stoemp, stew, haddock, chicken and what has been called "the best burger" by the Village Voice.

THE BURGER
Both Patrick and I ordered the restaurant's signature burger, the "Petite Abeille;" a 9 oz patty made of fresh beef, grilled and served with bacon, lettuce, tomato and cheddar. It comes on a toasted brioche that is coated with the restaurant's signature sauce. You do not have to worry about this at Petite Abeille. The brioche, already a sturdy bread option, when toasted provides quite the protective shell on what is a decent sized burger. This is good to keep it on one piece and in your hands. A crumbling sandwich and soggy bun can often detract from the joy that is a hamburger. While some people won't eat a burger without bacon and cheese, I don't find it necessary. In this case however, I would absolutely suggest you the burger with both. The mature flavor of the cheddar and the saltiness of the bacon danced around they were having a full on mardi gras style party on my sandwich. The beef was rich, flavorful, juicy and my favorite part...cooked to a perfect medium rare. While I wouldn't normally suggest red onions, they absolutely blended just perfectly with the tangy yet subtle special sauce. It's a mixture that tastes like mayonnaise, ketchup and BBQ sauce. Just the right amount is used to as to not over power, just accent.

The burgers all come with large Belgian frites, or as we might call them, fries. They were good but the star of the sides was the Stoemp. It's a traditional Belgian dish that combines mashed potatoes and other vegetables or spices. In this case, we had ours with sliced carrots. While it sounds like a simple idea, it's got big flavor and makes for a great side to the delicious burger. I opted out of the mussels but everyone else at the table claimed them to be pretty damn good.


8 out of 10 ounces
-Rev






The passion for good food at Petite Abeille is matched only by their passion for good Belgian beer. With a menu with 50+ Belgian ales, you could practically play Russian roulette with the choices and never take a bullet. For more details on our Belgian Beer Adventure, check out out sister sites, One Barrel Bar.



Congrats to Patrick and Jen! Cara and I could not be more excited for you two!!!

Brother Jimmy's BBQ - Will The Real Super Bowl Please Sip Up?

Brother Jimmy's BBQ
http://www.brotherjimmys.com/
1485 2nd Ave
New York, NY 10075-2001

THE CONQUEST
I can't proclaim to being much of a football fan. I guess that's what growing up in Detroit as a Lion's fan does to you. But I do like beer, hot wings and hanging out with my friends so to me, that is what the Super Bowl is all about. With the power of Burger Conquest and the NYC Wing-Off at my finger tips, I organized a super bowl party with our very accommodating friends at Brother Jimmy's BBQ, Upper East Side location.



THE FOOD
We wasted no time and began to order food the moment we sat. Our long eating game is amazing as it continued all the way through to the end of the game. If I remember correctly, here is the complete list of our destruction:

1 order of Hush Puppies with Maple Butter
1 Bucket O' Hot Wings
1 order of Nachos Grande
1 order of Original Chicken Fingers
1 order of Spinach and Artichoke Dip
1 order of Fried Green Tomatoes
1 single order of Hot Wings
1 order of Frickles
1 side of Macaroni and Cheese
1 order of Popcorn Shrimp
1 order of home made Jalapeno Poppers
1 Carolina Pulled Chicken Sandwich with a side of Macaroni and Cheese
2 orders of Fire Fries
1 House Salad (Ed note: Where did this come from!?!?)
2 orders of BBQ Marbled Brisket with 2 sides of Macaroni and Cheese, 1 side of Biscuits and Gravy and 1 Corn on the Cob
1 Bucket O' of Rib Tips
1 Bucket O' Chipotle Hot Wings
1 order of Candied Yams with Walnuts

The Brisket, Hot Wings and Poppers were my faves of the bunch. The big winner though was the Brother Jimmy's house hot sauce. Made primarily of carrots and habaneros, this spicy and tangy little friend eventually got poured on everything. I can't believe they don't sell it. That's almost like promoting the thievery of a bottle (WINK WINK.) For a full review of Brother Jimmy's wings, check out the results from NYC Wing-Off 10.







THE REAL SUPER BOWL
Along with the gridiron, the wings, the halftime show and the commercials, comes the drinking. Despite it being a Sunday night, we laid some serious waste to our bar tab.

53 Beers
11 Shots
6 Glasses of Wine
4 Carolina Coolers (Vodka, Lemonade & Blue Curacao)
2 Ciders
1 Pitcher of Sangria

and
3 Swamp Waters "OUR LEGENDARY COCKTAIL SERVED IN A 64 OZ FISH BOWL. HASN’T CHANGED IN 20 YEARS!!!"

These massive fishbowls are filled with ice, juice, some mystery liquors, lots of straws and a rubber alligator. I guess you could sip them if you wanted to but they are way more fun when you slam or race them. So get 2 (or 3 or 4, etc) and split your group into equal teams. Insert straw into mouth and as soon as someone yells "DRINK" you start sucking. The faster you go, the less likely you will suffer from brain freeze. Instead, you'll just suffer from wounded brain cells!!




Thanks to Jon, Melissa, all at Brother Jimmy's and especially Amy for the great time and great service. Also, thank you for the 2 complimentary Swamp Bowls! Free booze is a quick way to our hearts and brains.



THE GOSSIP
After the game was over a few of us wanted to still hang out so we headed to another bar up the street. While engaged in a serious beer pong tournament, who rolls into the bar? Ed Westwick AKA Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl! Ed joined us for some beer bong and was an all around funny out going guy and good sport. Not at all like that jerk Chuck Bass!!

Ruby's Diner Burger at Home Turf in LAX - Stuff Yourself With a Burger Before You Stuff Yourself Into a Seat

Ruby's Diner Burger at Home Turf in LAX
http://www.rubys.com
http://www.yelp.com/biz/home-turf-sports-bar-los-angeles
300 World Way
Los Angeles, CA 90045

THE CONQUEST
Name me the last time you had a great meal on an airplane. Unless you flew first class, you're lying and even then, I still might question you. Bad airplane food is so commonplace that the secret committee who polices standup comedy routines have banned it's use in jokes. (Also banned; jokes about "white people dance like this / black people dance like that," and "kids say the darndest things.") But it's true, airplane meals suck worse than the tiny seats you have to eat them in. To combat such horrible food, I always try to grab a bite before I fly the friendly skies.

Airports, while over priced, can have some decent food options (along with some piss poor ones as well) but you have to know where to look. You'll also need to be early for your flight which I know a lot of people can't stand. Not me. I get to the airport 2-3 hours before my flight. That way I get through security without rush and then have time to get something to eat and drink.

When I am in leaving the Los Angeles, CA airport (LAX) from the Continental Airlines Terminal, I have a little tradition. I always stop into the Home Turf Sports Bar and have myself a turkey burger from Ruby's Diner. You could just go to Ruby's but I like to have a beer or glass of wine to loosen up my nerves before hopping on the fly-fly and of the 2, only Home Turf offers adult beverages. No need for drinks? Stop in an enjoy the 1940's themed diner restaurant chain popular in 7 different US states.

THE BURGER
After settling down on a bar stool, opening up the laptop to write a review on In-N-Out, I waved over the bartender. I order the same thing every time; a turkey burger with American cheese, not tomato, french fries and a tall, cold beer. I'm pretty sure the burgers are frozen and pre-made (like you would find at most fast food burger joints) so they come out pretty quickly. The burger is served on a sesame seed roll with lettuce, mayo and although I asked for it without, tomatoes. It's warm, juicy and filling. It's also better than any other option in the terminal. By that standard, it's pretty damn good. If you judge it by the microwaved "charbroil" burger I was later served on my flight, the Ruby's turkey burger is divine! I ate every bite and nearly every crispy french fry in my basket. It's a great pre-flight meal and if you're usually in the same mode as I am at the LAX airport, good for hangovers.


7 out of 10 ounces
-Rev

Umami Burger - For Rappers By Ninjas

Umami Burger
http://www.umamiburger.com
850 South La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90036

THE CONQUEST
After 3 days in some of the worst rain LA has ever experienced, we were dying for some dry weather and sunshine. What better way to do it than an out door Burger Conquest with our friends Ash and Shawn from Sumerian Records! People have been blowing me up for sometime about the new LA burger chain Umami Burger and the curiosity needed to kill the cow.

Umami was started by wine expert Adam Fleischman and has quickly grown into 3 locations. What's up with the name you ask? While it does sound like the name of an elite Japanese Ninja assassins cartel, it is actually a word for a particular flavor reaction. According to Umamiinfo.com "umami is a pleasant savoury taste imparted by glutamate, a type of amino acid, and ribonucleotides, including inosinate and guanylate, which occur naturally in many foods including meat, fish, vegetables and dairy products. As the taste of umami itself is subtle and blends well with other tastes to expand and round out flavors, most people don’t recognize umami when they encounter it, but it plays an important role making food taste delicious." Beef naturally has high levels of the stuff and it's part of what makes us want to partake in the "Glorious Pursuit of Delicious Burgers."

THE BURGER
I really wanted a beer and was initially let down to find out Umami does not server any. They do however have a VERY long list of unique sodas and among them, one of my favorites, Australian Ginger Beer. While we sipped on our sodas out came the perfectly rectangular and crunchy triple-cooked Hand Cut fries as well as the Malt Liquor Tempura Onion Rings. The fries were good but the onion rings were among the best I have ever had. For those of you not familiar with Malt Liquor, allow me to explain.

Malt Liquor's creation was based on making an affordable malted barley beer with a higher alcohol content. Typically sugar is added to the malt which helps to achieve these golds. It's more commonly served in larger quantities in a 40 ounce bottles. Due to it's low price, unique taste, intense effects frequent appearance in hip-hop videos, most people see this a beverage designed for a lower class. For those of us that enjoy the malted beverage for what it is know that it gets you crunked up right quick! When it comes to cooking, the alcohol burns off when cooked and the high levels of sugar and malt can add an intense flavor to food. Having said all of that, let me tell you, these were some damn tasty onion rings. Thankfully we got them to split so as to save room for the burgers.

I went with the "Hatch" Burger; 4 types of green chiles and house cheese. Green chiles are one of those not too often found burger toppings that all the critics love. They have a nice tangy flavor but aren't really hot. When I see them on a menu, I always lean towards ordering them and today was to be no exception. That and the server told me it was the best burger on the menu. When Adam designed the burger at Umami, he was inspired by the attributes of burgers from In-N-Out and Father's Office.

Cooked on a griddle, the hand made patty is loose and falls apart upon impact. The beef has a very naturally mild flavor and is seasoned with salt and pepper. The homemade cheese (most items at Umami are homemade in the restaurant) is a gooey and buttery cloud of taste sensation. Packed on top of the hatch chiles, it provides a pallet that pulls the flavors together. It's all piled between a Portuguese style roll that has a hint of sweetness and is toasted before it's served. The sturdy roll is an important counter balance to the loose and melting items inside.The entire package was clearly put together by a burger lover for burger lovers.


8 out of 10 ounces
-Rev