The Ultimate Burger - Scotts, Canadians, Americans and Brits, oh my!

The Ultimate Burger

http://www.ultimateburger.co.uk/

36-38 Glasshouse Street

Soho

London

W1B 5DL

United Kingdom



THE STORY

While on Adam and I were on our first trip to London since the inception of the Great Burger Conquest, our good pal Matt Ash suggested a Burger with a band we co-manage, the Cancer Bats. Realizing that Matt and some of the Bats are veggie, I asked Matt, as the local, to choose wisely. Enter, The Ultimate Burger, which honestly, could've been the name of this blog!



The Ultimate Burger serves prime Scottish, grass-fed beef. I am not sure what the U.S. equivalent would be, but sounded good enough to me. With quite a unique menu that includes aubergine (read: Eggplant), lamb and chicken burgers, it took a moment to decide. With all these crazy choices, I still went with a classic with monterey jack cheese cooked medium rare. While we waited for the burgers to arrive we all had a giggle over the tomato shaped ketchup dispenser.





Liam from the Cancer Bats showing off his aubergine burger.



THE BURGER



After what seemed like an extra long wait, the food finally arrived. My Scottish grass-fed beef burger came medium well, which is always a negative in my book, but tasted pretty good. A little more of a zing than US beef. I hate it when a restaurant goes to the effort to create a burger and then just lops it onto a standard white bun. Kudos to Ultimate Burger for using a sour dough sesame seed bun. The star of the meal, the garlic mayo, which came on the burger and was also used for dipping the "chips" (aka french fries.) All in all, not a bad burger but certainly not the "ultimate."





6 out of 10 ounces

- Rev

The burgers were dope! The buns were dope! The Fries and onion rings were dope! And most of all the company was dope! What more could I ask for! To top it all off it was one of the four sunny days the UK gets a year, so everything was coming up Bats!

- Mikey Bats aka The Ice Trucker

Louis Lunch - Road Trip FAIL!

Louis Lunch
http://louislunch.com/
261-263 Crown Street
New Haven, CT 06510

THE STORY
Louis Lunch claims to be the birth place of the hamburger sandwich. Visiting Louis' as a burger fan is the equivalent of seeing Graceland for Elvis fans, Skywalker Ranch for Star Wars fans and the Pyramids of Egypt for history buffs. So as a burger enthusiast, I have tried several times to plan a trip. Louis' keep some strange hours and if anything caters to the weekday lunch crowd. As I was driving back to NYC from the New England Metal and Hardcore Festival in Worcester, MA, I decided to pop in for my virgin voyage to Louis Lunch.

THE FAIL
As I pulled into New Haven, the excitement was growing in me like a nuclear fission reactor. I was about to explode! I pulled up to a parking meeting around the corner, gave a homeless man my left over change and walked around the corner to Louis. The feeling inside of me reminded me of being taking to see Santa Claus at the mall to ask for presents. But alas, there were No Presents for X-Mas as Louis's doors were locked tight.

It couldn't be true. I had waited so long, I had tried so many times. I checked the website the day before: "Although we love making burgers for you, we sometimes like to take a vacation too. We are usually closed during the second week of January, as well as the week of Good Friday through Easter Sunday. In addition, we are closed during the entire month of August for our annual spoon inventory. When in doubt, feel free to give us a call to make sure we are open, or just to place an order." Was this some cruel joke? A phone call to Louis gave me the answer. Louis 16th Annual Spring break. Why wasn't this on the site?!? As I sulked away with my tail between legs, I stopped at a pizza place for something to eat. Not only did I not get to eat Louis but I ended up with some of the worst pizza I have ever had.

Louis Lunch - one day I will discover your magic and that is going to be a glorious day.


-Rev

White Castle - Somebody Call My Pusher

White Castle
http://www.whitecastle.com/

525 8th Ave
New York, NY 10018

Get Directions

THE STORY
More than 80 years ago, White Castle started serving up melt-in-your mouth sliders to Americans as the first fast-food hamburger chain ever. Today people still Crave them and to prove it, we ate more than 500,000,000 in 2008!! (It's true.) In fact, according to them, "First industrial-strength spatula. First mass-produced paper hat. First to sell a million hamburgers. First to sell a billion hamburgers. First frozen fast food for sale." And according to me, the first burger I call out for after a few adult beverages!! That's exactly what happened this night. On our way back from an awesome Shadows Fall show and Burger Conquest on Long Island, Jackie, Tim and I decided to feed the crave.

THE BURGER
They almost didn't survive the 14 block drive home. Castle Burgers are an institution. You could definitely get a better quality burger but you wont find a more tasty piece of heaven with this kind of consistency at this late an hour. You walk in the and the warming lights, the beckoning smell, the stumble across the restaurant, the blank stare at the menu with a whopping 6 items on it and the order, which is always bigger than your stomach can handle, comes falling out of your mouth. A few minutes later and sliders are melting in your mouth. They're small. They're greasy. They're steam grilled. They're covered in onions and THEY'RE DELICIOUS...especially after you have been drinking. Combo'd with some chicken rings and mozzarella sticks and you got a great late night treat

White Castle's - hamburger's answer to heroine.


6 out of 10 ounces
-Rev

All American Hamburger - First McDowell's, now McShimmel's?

All American Hamburger
http://allamericanhamburger.us/
4286 Merrick Road
Massapequa, NY 11758

THE STORY
Voted Long Island's best burger by City's Best (AOL), All American Burger is what I deem to be a slice of Americana. What they describe as a Drive-In means walk-up counter service only. There's no dining room so technically all orders are too go but one could sit at the picnic tables outside. The menu is simple, VERY SIMPLE; burgers, fries, dogs, fish, shakes, rings, knishes and sodas. Best know what you want before you get to the counter, this place moves FAST.

A band we manage, Shadows Fall, was playing the Crazy Donkey in Farmingdale, NY on Long Island, Knowing we were coming out for the show, Burger Conquest friend Pat Egan, invited Jackie, Tim and I to join him in something Long Islander's have enjoyed since 1963.

THE BURGER
The lines were long but they moved quick so it was important to have my order before I got to the counter. No problem, I always go for the same: burger, fries, soda/beer. Pat suggested the "Double D0uble" which is just a double cheeseburger. Then for some fries, no wait a minute, did I read it correctly? I had the option of a Knish! A Knish is a Yiddish snack food with a crispy crust and creamy mashed potatoes on the inside. Order placed. The burger was good. Right amount of grease, salt and cheese. In a blind test, it would probably beat out McDonald's but seated next to one, you wouldn't see the difference.

The real winner at All American Hamburger? Well, Tim might tell you it was the Wiener girl, but I will tell you the knish was on the best i have ever had. Really crunchy outside, really creamy inside. After listening to me go on and on it about, Jackie and Tim went back in and got their own. After staring at the team of people surrounding 2 grills full of high speed burger prep, I got another Double Double.


6 out of 10 ounces
-Rev




THE REAL WIENER!

Burgers and Cupcakes - First Veggie Burger Review

Burgers and Cupcakes

http://www.burgersandcupcakes.us/

458 9th Ave

New York, NY 10018



THE STORY

With a name like "Burgers and Cupcakes" how are you not instantly intrigued? My friend Jenn is a veggie but definitely a foodie and so I thought this could the perfect place for us to eat but also for the first ever veggie burger to be reviewed on Burger Conquest. We grabbed Jackie and Melissa and headed over for a treat. Burgers and Cupcakes is a division of Mitchel London Foods

(former chef to ex-NYC Mayor Ed Koch) and even though its not in the name, also serves pizza.



THE BURGER

The place doesn't serve alcohol but will let you bring your own in. So hit the bodega on the corner before you come in, which is exactly what Jenn did! Even though it wasn't busy, it still took the waitress a good 20 minutes before she took our order. Out of several types of burger, I of course, went for a beef burger cooked medium rare with shaved Parmesan and hickory smoked bacon. When it arrived without any bacon (they ran out) and on a plain white bun, my hopes weren't high. The burger was cooked the way I ordered it but there was hardly any cheese on it and the burger itself was kind of plain. Not bad but certainly not award winning.



But burgers were only half the meal. We had to order cupcakes. Although they were out of a good half of the menu selection, they still had marble cake with peanut butter cupcakes. Mmm. Get in my mouth! The cake was moist and minimal. Let's be honest, no one is REALLY into the cake part. The peanut butter and chocolate was really creamy and filled with flavor. I was glad I ordered a small but it was addictive enough to want a large cupcake.



In the end, its the cupcake that's the winner but the combo is still a unique idea. It's like boys and girls can finally agree on a place to eat!



And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the first ever, veggie burger review on Burger Conquest...by Jenn P...



First and foremost I have to say that I'm honored to review the first ever veggie burger on the conquest. Thanks REV!!! To the die - hard meat eaters on the site, my apologies. I promise to go and slay some raw meat in your honor this weekend. That said, I do wish that it could have been ANY other burger in the world of all veggie burgers to be bestowed with the recognition of first veg burger review.



Order placed. 20-25 mins later, or so it feels (thank GOD for the B.Y.O.B. policy, great company and the anticipation of a yum-o cuppy cake after the meal)...finally the burger arrives. Alas, the pepper jack cheese that I ordered to spice up my world was nowhere to be found. Strike one. I then committed the cardinal sin and sent it back...might as well be reviewing a spit burger at this point : )



Before diggin' in I do take notice that this veggie burger is not some pre-packaged frozen job. B+C does make them by hand which is a bonus and gives the illusion that I might have a good experience here...that is, until I take a bite.



I'm not gonna sugar coat it. First bite was a disappointment. I'm not sold that this is a true 'veggie' burger. Approx. 98% is made of rice with a few minuscule carrot and zucchini shreds tossed in - clearly for color -as it had no taste whatsoever except maybe for the cheese and some ketchup! 2nd bite helped me to deduce that the wonder bread bun action that is adorning this lovely little rice patty is not helping its cause either. Bun off to the side and another taste down and...nothing. No sparks, no fireworks...no love. Bland nothingness. Not even the spicy goodness of pepper jack could save it.



Moral of the story. Did I eat the whole thing? Yes. (hey what can I say? I had high hopes for dinner and didn't eat lunch b/c of it) Would I visit again? Well, maybe if someone else was buying and I was broke or if I could bypass the whole ho hum veggie burger experience and grab a delicious peanut butter and marble cake cupcake instead! Veggie fans out there...dont bother with the burger...not worth your time. It doesn't fly high enough on any radar to even register. Ah well, better luck next time. And there WILL be a next time. So, until then, my friends...peace out!



-JP

6 out of 10 ounces

-Rev

University Place Gourmet - Bacon Sandwiches Cure Hangovers

University Place Gourmet
http://newyork.citysearch.com/profile/7087620/new_york_ny/university_place_gourmet.html
116 University Place
New York, NY 10003

Shake Shack
http://www.shakeshacknyc.com/
11 Madison Ave
New York, NY 10010

THE STORY
I was out with the new work mates last night and a few too many Bullet rocks. When the alarm went off this morning, so did the headache. It's a story we all can tell. I'm in the shower trying to wash it off while listening to the Jim Kerr Rock and Roll Morning show on WAXQ - Q104.3, (who by the way I am told is a huge burger fan) when he starts to read a news story. "Bacon sandwich really does cure a hangover..." and I perk up. You gotta be kidding me right? Something about amino acids and etc etc. I pop up by browser and sure enough, as reported by The Telegraph, they're claiming it to be true;
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/science/sciencenews/5118283/Bacon-sandwich-really-does-cure-a-hangover.html?state=target#postacomment&postingId=5125033
"Researchers claim food also speeds up the metabolism helping the body get rid of the booze more quickly." NO WAY! YOU GOTTA BE JOKING ME. Somebody tell the Bacon Jew!

Readers of Burger Conquest know we claim the Shack Burger at Shake Shack to be our choice for hang over cures. That meant it was time for a challenge...

UNIVERSITY PLACE GOURMET DELI BACON SANDWICH vs. SHAKE SHACK SHACK BURGER

THE BACON
My co-workers claim the University Place Gourmet Deli is the best bacon sandwich in the neighborhood. We're new here so we still trust them. I got a bacon, egg and cheese on whole wheat toast with salt, pepper, hot sauce and a little bit of ketchup. The bacon was just how I like it, not too crispy, not too rubbery, as my Dad used to say "justa, justa." I ordered 2 eggs on the sandwich and in retrospect, I should've gotten only one as it over powered the sandwich. Just the right of American cheese made for a great salty combo with the bacon. The sandwich fell apart as I ate it but as you can see, 1 little piece of bacon fell out. I ate it last like it was dessert. Side note, the coffee here is fantastic.

Results: HANG OVER GONE. Since the Shack isn't open at this time of day (I did walk by it this morning to make sure), I'll go with University Place Gourmet Deli for the win. I still love you Shake Shack, but you're going to have to share.


7 out of 10 sizzles
-Rev

Shake Shack, Upper West Side - Morning After Burger

Shake Shack
http://www.shakeshacknyc.com/
366 Columbus Ave
New York, NY 10024

DOUBLE BURGER DOUBLE DATE PART 2

THE STORY
The Shake Shack is one of the best burgers in NYC. You know this, we know this;
But we have only been to the original Madison Park Location and my wife had never been at all. I woke up to Aaron's tweet "There should be a morning after pill for other things." Having been down this road, I knew what had to be done; another burger and this time from the Upper West Side Shake Shack.

THE BURGER
I ordered a Double Shack burger (to stay in with the double date, double burger theme) a side of the delicious American cheese fries and a large Arnold Palmer (1/2 iced t - 1/2 lemonade). By the end of the meal, the hangover had galloped right out the door. The Shack doesn't disappoint. Their UWS location has the same menu, the same lines and the same DEEEEELISH burger but it's inside.


8 out of 10 ounces
-Rev